Dear Customer

Dear Tully's Customers, specifically the man who looks as though he spends his spare time dismembering bodies: I am so sorry that you are A) Foul and Grimy, B) Tired and/or C) Mentally addled, but growling in my direction and then creepily staring when asked to clarify what said growl meant does not make me wish to serve you any faster. Please return to whatever freak show you came from and leave me be. (Sunday, January 24, 2010)

Dear Creepy Tully's Customer from yesterday, I have nicknamed you Serial Killer Bob. Your erratic pacing and then standing still and just staring for extended periods of time is doing nothing to dissuade me of this notion. Once again, please return to your freakshow, which, I am sure, is not located in the lobby of this store. (Monday, January 25, 2010)

Dear Parents of Obnoxious Children, this is not a playground, but rather a coffee shop. Our furniture is meant to be sat on, not climbed on. Your child's irritating trilling and yelling is adorable only to you. Also, when they toss their sugar laden snack that should not have been bought onto the floor, YOU need to pick it up. Let's try some responsible parenting, shall we? (Monday, January 25, 2010)